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Tuesday, September 9

Sinning

I'm feeling a little cheeky today. So here is a humorous look at my sinful and not-so-sinful habits.

The Big 10

1- I think I'm good.

2- Good, unless chocolate counts as an idol. If so I commit idolatry on a regular basis.

3- No problems with this one.

4- Does sleeping through Church count or is pregnancy a "Get Out of Jail Free" card?

5- I both honor and love my parents. But to be fair it'd be pretty hard not to considering how awesome they are. <---See! I'm honoring them right now!

6- The cats have come dangerously close to driving me to break this one...but so far they have lucked out.

7- Definitely no issues with that one.

8- Um...does the occasional piggy-backing on someone's unsecured wireless signal because mine is down count? *sheepish smile*

9- Nope, no false witnessing against my neighbor. But I'd be happy to give TRUE witness against them. *wink*

10- I'm quite fond of my own house actually. It suits us just perfectly for the time being. And I can say with 100% sincerity that I have never coveted any man's wife.

The Sinful Seven

Lust: *blush* I'm too modest to talk about that sin, nevertheless commit it!

Gluttony: Hard to tell...I've been blessed with quite the metabolism. Is it possible to commit gluttony with just certain types of foods...oh, say...cereal? If yes, then I'm in trouble.

Greed: Only if a deep-rooted love of snagging free stuff off Freecycle counts...

Wrath: Recently it's been spotted...but I claim myself not guilty by reason of hormonal insanity.

Envy: Not really...though for some odd reason I covet the new iPod Nano. I think it must have something to do with all the pretty colors because I really have almost not use for my own now that I spend most of my day at home. But the colors...just look at the colors! So pretty!

Pride: Oh I've never had an issue with this one. I'm really a very, very humble person. Besides, it's only a sin if you aren't actually smarter, more talented, and just generally better than everyone else right?

The Modern Seven

Destroying the environment: Well, my friends all think I'm a hippie so I guess I'm not that bad. But I can't say I live in a Tumbleweed house and eat all home grown, organic foods cooked in a solar oven while wearing a hemp apron...(though the ideas are appealing).

Genetic manipulation: I'm pretty sure I'd have to have a stronger background in biology or something to commit this one. I'm opposed to GMOs though...so that counts for something right?

Obscene wealth: Ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA! *falls over laughing*

Creating poverty: I don't know how to commit this one. But considering about 15% of our income is spent on giving I pretty sure I'm guilty of fighting poverty.

Drug trafficking: Well...there was that one time I needed to make some quick cash and this guy offered me some money to deliver a package. He even got me a free trip to Columbia! (Just kidding!)

Immoral scientific experimentation: It's kind of hard to do immoral scientific experimentation when the closest I get to any kind of scientific experimentation involves leaving leftovers in the fridge for too long.

Violation of the fundamental rights of human nature: I'm not even sure what this means! I know what "violation of the fundamental rights of humans" is...but I'm not sure how one violates the rights of human nature. So I may very well be sinning in my ignorance! Do we get any leeway for being clueless?

The Virtuous Virtues (of which I must admit, I am hardly a virtuoso)

Prudence: I'm about as prudent as the next person. Does being a prude earn me bonus points?

Justice: I have been known to utter the words "that's not fair!" But then, most people were teenagers at some point or another (in all seriousness I do think I have a decent sense of justice and try to act accordingly).

Temperance: Emotional? Yes (minus the occasional pregnancy meltdown). Internet? Mmmm...not so much. Cereal and baked goods? If my admittance into Heaven depends on my temperance with those items then I'm totally going to hell. *big cheesy grin*

Courage: Excuse while I go cower in the corner because I'm too chicken to comment on this one. *cowers in corner*

Faith: Hey! This one I feel fine saying I've been pretty good at (Hey, Kamis! You're not the only one who can end sentences with prepositions!).

Hope: Goodness gracious. I have what some might refer to as an overly developed sense of hope. Let's just say Little Orphan Annie and I have more in common than just the red hair.

Love/Charity: I love everyone (except the people I don't)!

Mahatma Gandhi's Seven Sins (bet you didn't even know he had his own list, I didn't!)

Wealth without work: When I get the first half of that one I'll evaluate the second half. *wink* (In all seriousness I consider myself very wealthy/blessed.)

Pleasure without conscience: I'm pretty sure I need to diminish my guilt complex before I worry about this one.

Science without humanity: Nope, but I have been known to commit the sin of "humanity without science."

Knowledge without character: Well, I think I'm a pretty interesting character.

Politics without principle: No problems there. I wouldn't mind seeing a little more principles without politics in this election though...

Commerce without morality: Well...I do shop at Wal-Mart. But my over developed sense of guilt (see "Pleasure without conscience") makes me feel so miserable about it that karma-wise it evens out.

Worship without sacrifice: I assume (seeing as this list came from Gandhi) that we're not talking Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom type sacrifices; you know, of the human kind..

1 Stubborn Stains:

Mandie said...

This post was so funny! :)

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