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Sunday, July 26

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

I’m confident that my mom is waaaay cooler than your mom. Really. She’s awesome! I love her more than I love thunderstorms, chocolate, and permanent markers {and trust me when I tell you that I LOVE permanent markers*}. And guess what. She loves me too. That’s probably why she reads my blog. {Hi, Mom!} And that’s cool. Because, seriously, if your own mother doesn’t want to read you blog that’s pretty sad.

My mom has always enjoyed my writing, at least, she’s always said I’m a good writer. And I believe her because A: she’s not the type to lie to me about it and B: it feeds my ego. So I enjoy knowing she’s reading my writing here on this blog. Except {and you know there had to be an “except”} there are certain things I feel weird writing about knowing she’s going to see it.

What kinds of thing, Holly?

Well, um, sex for one.

And that’s really, really stupid. I’m an adult now. My mom is an adult. And I’m fairly certain she doesn’t think Lucy came from the cabbage patch if you know what I’m saying. And I didn’t come from a cabbage patch either. So clearly, sex is something we’re both familiar with.

And yet…

I’m still embarrassed to write about it.

Despite the fact that I’m too wigged out to discuss it with my own mother I am convinced that when Lu gets old enough to ask me the question I am going to be the epitome of calm, cool, and collected. I will casually, and matter-of-factly explain it to her in an age-appropriate but accurate manner. And she’ll understand and be relaxed about it. And I’ll be relaxed about it. And I won’t be afraid to call it by it’s real name.

Or maybe I’ll stop deluding myself and instead start preparing her for life as a nun.

You don’t have to be Catholic to be a nun, right?


*Really, I love all office supplies. If you can buy it at Staples I pretty much want it.

25 Stubborn Stains:

Samantha @ Mama Notes said...

I loved this post. So great!! I totally know what you mean.. being embarrassed to talk about.. s. e. x.

Sarah said...

Oh my! Love it!

My mom took my brother and I to a Police Academy movie when I was about 8 or 10(I still wonder why). Well anyway, during the movie, someone said someone else needed a blow job. So after the movie, as we were walking to our car, I asked what a blow job was. And, she answered. In great, grotesque detail. My brother and I responded with "Ewww. That's gross!" in unison, and my mom said "not when you love someone." An image of my dad flashed into my head, and I remember wanting to die.

Clueless_Mama said...

I agree, talking about sex not ever really comfortable. I use to be the worst. I would ask my mom questions just to embarass her and my dady. I know I'm bad! As for office supplies, I love them all too.

Tami (Pixeltrash) said...

That Police Acadamy comment made me LOL!

I don't talk to my mom about sex either, but I always think I'll tell my kids exactly what they need to know. A few months ago, my 6 year old boy asked me how you get pregnant... only he pronounced it, "preg-a-nant". I almost died. LOL! I was trying to come up with the most 6-year-old appropriate answer I could. LOL!

I found you at SITS! Have a great Sunday night!

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

Ugh. As you know, Colin has been asking about it lately. In fact, I haven't blogged about it (yet) but the other night he was all, "I know that the daddy puts the seeds into the mommy's body, but HOW?" So I had to explain to him, in rudimentary fashion, the exact mechanics of the birds and the bees. And was inwardly cringing the entire time, even though he's only four. So I can't imagine what I'll be like when the time comes to REALLY have "the talk." I think I'll leave that one to Daddy.

Also: my mom reads my blog too. And ever since she told me that my dad has a big penis (OMFG BARF BARF BARF) we don't really talk about sex. Sometimes, when it comes from your mom, TMI has a whole new meaning.

ALSO also: I too LOVE office supplies. Seriously!

MochaTrina said...

Funny stuff and I concur. I mentioned my blog to my mom in passing and never really said anything about again. Then one day she says I had to hear about your fabulous blogs from my co-worker. I thought for a minute and I was like how did you co-worker.....FACEBOOK. I have a link to my blogs on Facebook. SO NOW, my mom reads my blog religiously and tells me how funny I am. SO NOW I'm thinking to myself...great (in a good and bad way). SO NOW when I write I'm a little guarded and feel uncomfortable writing about certain things...like S-E-X.

Desiree Fawn said...

Haha, too funny.
My mother and I actually talk about all sorts of things that mom's and daughters "aren't supposed to talk about".
We both talk about our sex lives and really we chat more like girlfriends than mother daughter, but that's just us.

Though, when it came time to telling her I was pregnant I really felt like I was saying "HEY MOM. WE HAVE LOTS OF SEX!" and that IS a bizarre thing to say to your mama!

Anonymous said...

I know the feeling! I remember shortly after I was married visiting my parents and they just kept looking at me funny and I told Mike they were trying to figure out if we'd had sex the night before or something. LOL! I still am that way with my mother. God knows how I'll be when it's time to approach the subject with Soph.

The Redhead Riter said...

That's funny. I told my daughter the "final" part about sex ---because you have to do it over time in bits and pieces---and she said "GROSS!"

I hope she keeps thinking that until she is married!

valentine said...

i feel the same way in regards to my mom, we are both adults, both married, but yet, it is something that we just DON'T discuss

Unknown Mami said...

I'm not looking forward to that conversation with my daughter. My mom is a bit bawdy so sex can come up, but never on a personal level- more like on a joking level.

thatgirlblogs said...

I'm an open book and all, but you'd be really surprised and some of the questions a middle schooler will ask their mom! just wait...

Eileen said...

Visiting from SITS. I totally agree with you about being uncomfortable with the topic of sex around mom. Last time I was at my mom's house a commercial for KY Yours and Mine came on and my mom said "That stuff doesn't really work like they say it does. Have you ever tried it?" I wanted to crawl under the table and die. And my mom, noticing my discomfort said "What? You're an adult now. You have sex. Why can't we talk about it." I wanted to say "Well mom, I've been having sex since well before I was an adult, but NO we CANNOT talk about it EVER."

PetalsYoga said...

This is such a great post and so easy to relate with. Except in one regard... my mom doesn't read my blog so I guess she hates me. Now I feel sad and unloved... No, I'm kidding. She barely knows how to turn on a computer so I'm not taking it to heart... much.

So happy to have found your way rocking, dustbunny-flowing blog!

Jessica and Michael said...

Haha! That's a great post! :) Stopping by from SITS and I love your blog!

Get Real Girl said...

too funny! I talk to my mom about everything, too, but certain subjects. . .well, I don't think so.

Stopping by to say hello!

Julie, Little One-of-a-Kind Design said...

My mom corrects my comma placement and spelling mistakes on my blog! But sometimes I ignore them so if you go read my blog and there's a mistake, blame me, not my mother for she would be quite embarrassed, that I misplaced a, comma.

I'll be following! vis sits!

Aunt Julie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Juli said...

Now I'm inspired to write my own blog...because MY mom (though she loves me dearly) would never read it...great post!

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

Hi, just stopping over from SITS. Congrats on being #2 on Roll Call! This is a great post! I see why your mother reads your blog. I hope you will stop by. I post marital secrets for young wives, mothers, and couples. I'm following you.

Kimberly said...

My parents don't read my blog :( I've given up trying and the rest of my family just makes fun of me for it!

Arwyn said...

Ohh, yea. Love my mom, love that she reads, love that she comments... but it's still *weird*. (I do talk about sex, but I must admit I've scaled it back just a teensy bit, knowing she was reading.) And we were that obnoxious mom/daughter dyad who had hours-long conversations about birth control years before I was at all interested in S*E*X, often at my prompting, so it's not just a prude thing.

I also know my conception story, which only squicks me out because, ew, my dad's in that! *shudders*

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

Wow! Seems like I'm not the only one! And it seems like some of you ladies have moms who gave ya TMI! lol

Christy said...

I am so embarrassed about sex that I had trouble telling my parents that I was pregnant ALL THREE TIMES! I was married so why did I care? Of course my parents knew I was having sex and it was normal to conceive, but I hated telling them I was pregnant because they actually had proof that I was having sex at that point. So weird!

Valerie @ Frugal Family Fun Blog said...

So funny!! There's really no getting over that kind of awkwardness, is there? Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

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