We’re a geeky family, we are. In fact, we start the geeky indoctrination from day one.
So, it really shouldn’t come as any surprise that Adam has always known that if he ever owned a white car he’d call it Shadowfax. And just to help out you non-geeky types I’ll tell you who Shadowfax is. Shadowfax is the lord of horses. He makes his first appearance in The Two Towers. He’s the big, beautiful white horse that Gandalf rides {see clip below}.
Yup, these bad guys, known as Ringwraiths, Nazgûl, Black Riders, Dark Riders, the Nine, The Backstreet Boys, etc. have some mean-looking black mounts. And the baddest of these bad guys is this fellow right here:
Do not piss this guy off. He will stab you. He will stab you with a Morgul-blade. You do not mess with the Witch-king of Angmar.
And since this dude rides a black horse, and we don’t know what his horse’s name* is, we used part of the dude’s “name” instead. And thus, our car was named Angmar.
But, just FYI, Angmar won’t stab you. He might pee coolant on you. But he won’t stab you.

*He probably would have named him a nice, friendly name like ‘Bill’ if somebody hadn’t already taken that name. I’m looking at you Samwise Gamgee!

   
Both of these shirts are available in unisex or women’s styles. They’re from Think Geek. Prices range from $15.99-$18.99.


And finally, my personal favorite is this cute little print. I gave one of these to Adam for our wedding anniversary. It’s sitting on a shelf in his computer armoir. I’m pretty sure he likes it. Because, you know, he said he likes it. It makes me smile every time I see it. It’s $10 from Geek Details. The frame is not included.

Don't miss my list of gift ideas for coffee lovers!

Do you have a geek in your life? What are you getting him/her for Valentine’s day?

I made this bookmark for my younger brother-in-law who is supposed to get into town at 3:30 am. If you don’t know what it is your geek cred is woefully deficient.* I made the pattern by tweaking one of these fabulous Star Trek cross-stitch patterns by *black-lupin. There are several patterns, including recently added Next Generation characters! The bookmark is going in his welcome basket full of goodies.
*Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog

The response to my last post has been almost exclusively a variation of “me too.” It makes me wonder how many of the people I pass in the grocery store feel the hurt of past bullying. Is that guy in the car next to me at the stop light as self-conscious as I am? Maybe not. But maybe he is.

A few people have asked me what can be done?

The truth is I don’t have the answer to that question. I don’t know how to stop bullying. If there is a universal plan to end it {and I doubt that’s the case} I have no clue what it is. All I can offer is some advice that may help others find the solution to individual cases of bullying.

• Ask your children if they are being bullied. Ask them if they are bullying others. Let them know bullying is unacceptable. They may not tell you the truth when you ask, but if you don’t talk to them they may not tell you anything at all.
• If your child is being bullied do not feed them clichés. Sticks and stones break bones, but words can’t be healed by a few weeks in a cast. Sayings like that do nothing to make a victim feel better. In fact they can add to the victim’s shame by making them feel invalidated and as if something is wrong with them for feeling hurt in the first place.
• If your child is being bullied do not tell them to just ignore it. Not only is that teaching them they shouldn’t speak up for themselves and be assertive, it doesn’t work. Often bullies will escalate the harassment in response to such tactics. Fighting back is not the answer, but neither is laying down and letting the bullies continue. We teach people how they can treat us through our actions. Ignoring bullying teaches the perpetrators that they may bully us.
• If teachers, principles, etc. do not take the problem seriously keep going over their heads until you find somebody who will. You are your child’s advocate. They need someone in their corner.
• Consider counselling.

This advice is formed based on experience. I’m not a child psychologist. But I was a victim. And I know what it feels like. For more information on bullying and prevention check out this Wikipedia article and this Bully Free Alberta campaign.

You remember that girl in elementary school who nobody particularly liked, the one who would often spend recess with a good book instead of a good friend?

I was that girl.

You remember that girl in middle school who wore the dorkiest clothes you’d ever seen, the one who got made fun of for not shaving her legs and who didn’t have many friends?

I was that girl.

You remember that girl in high school who was a total nerd, the one who people thought was kind of a freak?

I was that girl.

I grew up being bullied, teased, lied to, laughed at, and humiliated. Some of my most vivid memories are of the torture my peers inflicted…holding votes while the teacher was out of the room to see how many people didn’t like me, teasing me because I wore the wrong shorts to gym, making fun of me behind my back during my chorus solo, pretending to be my friend so I could be made fun of when absent.

In first grade I wanted to die. There were times at night I’d sneak out to the kitchen to get a knife only to put it back because I was afraid killing myself would be painful.

In second grade I fell in love with whales and was devastated to find that not only was my new passion unappreciated, but was a new source of material for those who mocked me.

In fifth grade I felt shamed by my teachers {in addition to the continued harassment from my classmates} for being forgetful.

In sixth grade I was heartbroken to discover that I was no less a “loser,” no higher on the totem pole than I had been at my old school even though most of my new classmates had never even met me.

In ninth grade I found myself paralyzed by fear when assigned seating placed me next to the worst of my tormentors for 3/4 of the school year.

For years I wracked my brain trying to discover what was wrong with me. What did I do to earn their abuse? What was so bad about me that so many people disliked me so much? Why couldn’t I figure out how to make it stop?

For years I kept it secret. I never told my parents. I never told anyone, never sought help because I was ashamed. I was ashamed that I was so un-cool that I warranted that much venom from those around me. I didn’t want to talk about being bullied because I honestly felt it was somehow my fault.

It was only within the last few years that I realized it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with them. But even knowing that the damage is still there. I’m still terrified of what people think. I still wonder which people are making fun of me when I’m not there to hear it. I still fear conflict. I still lack confidence. And I still hurt.

Adam gets to see a lot of movies for work. He works with disabled individuals and they do all sorts of things; grocery shopping, job hunting, bowling, and, yes, movies.

So he sees a lot of things before I do. It works out quite well. I don’t have to see movies I’m not interested in but that he wants to see. And when I do go to the theatre he can take baby-duty {i.e. diaper changes and soothing fusses} and he isn’t missing anything he’s not already seen.

Now, we’re Star Trek fans. We don’t own our own Federation Uniforms, or Tribbles, or anything {yet}. But we do love it. We were pretty stoked for the new movie. Not surprisingly, Adam saw it first. It took a while before I was ready to try venturing to the theatre with Lucy to see it. But finally the time came that I was ready to give it a go. We made plans to see it the very next day.

And then the movie theatre switched out the shows and it was no longer playing.

We were both very, very bummed. It was going to be my first time seeing a movie since Lucy had been born. And Adam had been dying for me to see it so he could actually talk about it with me without giving anything away.

Then we had to head to a different city for immigration stuff. And that city happened to have a dollar theatre,* a dollar theatre still playing Star Trek. So we made plans to see it while we were there.

And then the movie theatre switched out the shows and it was no longer playing.

Then, on our flight to Toronto, they had the little TV things built into the seats that had TV shows and movies. One of the movies? Yup, you guessed it. Star Trek. So we did our best to watch it while keeping Lucy happy.

And then the screen froze in the middle of the movie.

We did manage to finally see it in a dollar theatre in Ohio. Lucy even slept or cuddled quietly the whole time!

So, what did I think?

TOTALLY WORTH THE WAIT.

Also?

The new Kirk is totally hot a very good casting choice.

*Why, why, why don’t we have a dollar theatre in this town?

Previously I had announced my intentions to stay off Twitter. I had an account (used exclusively for the purpose of entering blog giveaways). But apparently I’m pretty popular (my high school self would never believe that). I’ve managed to get a small Twitter following without even trying. So I give in folks. My inner Luddite has been defeated. I am now a total twit (because I wasn’t one before?). I’ve linked my Twitter account and my Facebook account. So at least I only have to worry about doing single updates. You people following me better be happy that you’re going to get real tweets now. My inner Luddite is very annoyed. But my inner geek is doing a happy dance. So I guess it all evens out. Follow me here.

For all my talk about being a geeky family I have to admit, it could be much worse. Check out these cakes. The last one is a wedding cake...and yes, the entire wedding followed this theme, decorations, clothing and all (there's a link to see more pictures from the wedding). So while I can take pride in the fact that I'm not as geeky as all that...I do have to concede that I think those cakes are really stinkin' awesome!

Here are some more geeky cakes and geeky weddings for your amusement.

Weddings/Cakes

Cakes

More Cakes