Fraud
Right now my Facebook icon is the cartoon version of me that's in my header. Someone mentioned something about feather dusters to me and I told them my dirty little secret:
I don't own a feather duster.
"WHAT?!" you say? "How could you deceive us so!?" you ask?
*shrug*
Them's the breaks, folks. I own no feather duster. I used to have a duster (albeit of the non-feather variety) before we moved. It was one of the many, many things that got left behind. And this is where the "dork" part of "Domestic Dork" enters in: I haven't gotten a new duster because I haven't dusted since we moved.*
But guess what.
"What?"
That's not the only deception.
*gasp*
That's right folks. There's more.
- I haven't been that thin since I got married.
- I've never put a bow on Lucy.
- My eyes aren't that green.
- My skin hasn't been that clear since I was five.
- And if my hair ever appeared that red, shiny, and volumnous I could die happy.
But I'm allowed to take artistic license in my self-representation because I'm so dang honest about the fact that my dust bunnies truly are breeding.

*Well, that's a slight exageration. I have done a few (very few) wipe downs with rags. I guess I shouldn't feel too embarassed. There isn't actually much to dust in our place (almost no pictures on the wall, no book shelf, no knick-knacks, etc.).
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