The response to my last post has been almost exclusively a variation of “me too.” It makes me wonder how many of the people I pass in the grocery store feel the hurt of past bullying. Is that guy in the car next to me at the stop light as self-conscious as I am? Maybe not. But maybe he is.

A few people have asked me what can be done?

The truth is I don’t have the answer to that question. I don’t know how to stop bullying. If there is a universal plan to end it {and I doubt that’s the case} I have no clue what it is. All I can offer is some advice that may help others find the solution to individual cases of bullying.

• Ask your children if they are being bullied. Ask them if they are bullying others. Let them know bullying is unacceptable. They may not tell you the truth when you ask, but if you don’t talk to them they may not tell you anything at all.
• If your child is being bullied do not feed them clichés. Sticks and stones break bones, but words can’t be healed by a few weeks in a cast. Sayings like that do nothing to make a victim feel better. In fact they can add to the victim’s shame by making them feel invalidated and as if something is wrong with them for feeling hurt in the first place.
• If your child is being bullied do not tell them to just ignore it. Not only is that teaching them they shouldn’t speak up for themselves and be assertive, it doesn’t work. Often bullies will escalate the harassment in response to such tactics. Fighting back is not the answer, but neither is laying down and letting the bullies continue. We teach people how they can treat us through our actions. Ignoring bullying teaches the perpetrators that they may bully us.
• If teachers, principles, etc. do not take the problem seriously keep going over their heads until you find somebody who will. You are your child’s advocate. They need someone in their corner.
• Consider counselling.

This advice is formed based on experience. I’m not a child psychologist. But I was a victim. And I know what it feels like. For more information on bullying and prevention check out this Wikipedia article and this Bully Free Alberta campaign.

So, according to some people {hi, Mom!} I have what you would call an “easy baby.” And those people would be right. Lucy is a very happy little gal. Sure, teething, illness, or tiredness can put her in a foul mood. But all in all we’re very lucky to have such a low maintenance daughter.

But…{and isn’t there always a but?}…will it last? Or are we using up all our “easy” now and come age 16 our sweet little angel will be calling us from the local police station asking us to come bail her out amidst streams of “I swear it isn’t mine! I was just holding it for a friend!” and “well, Spike’s parents already came and bailed him out!” and “but that’s not faaaaaaaaair!” and “I’m never speaking to you again! I HATE YOU!”

Meh. Who knows?

I’m just going to do my best to enjoy this for as long as it lasts.

Did you have an easy baby or a high needs baby? How’d they turn out?

We don't really talk about it in mixed company, but you know, we all fart (except me...I don't fart, and I don't sweat - I'm far too lady-like for that...hah!). Some people try to blame the dog, or "barking spiders*," or even their babies. Based on recent observations I think the baby is the most believable scape-goat.

Lucy farts, loudly.

And boy can she drag those suckers on and on and on.

Adam and I have found ourselves, after an impressive windy display from Lucy, looking at each other in amazement. "Was that you?" we ask (and of course the answer as it pertains to me is "no" because, like I said, I don't fart). How that much sound can come from such a tiny little tuckus I will never know. Is it our fault? Have we failed to burp her sufficiently? If so, does that make us bad parents?

I suppose the last question doesn't matter much because, I'm sure, when Lucy is 14 or so, if she finds out I wrote about her prolific farts on the internet she'll be convinced I'm a bad parent.

UPDATE: A little bit after I posted this I looked down at Lucy (who I was holding) and I swear she was giving me a "Mom, you are such a jerk. How could you write that about me?" look. Then she farted.

*You have Adam to thank for that particular phrase...Adam; the man who calls his little brother up when he thinks of a great new term for farts. Adam; the man I love (in spite of or because of his odd sense of humor, I don't know).