First I got this:

Dear Ms. Dork {they used my real name},

Thank you for taking the time to contact us concerning your recent stay at The Four Points by Sheraton Toronto Airport West.

I am very sorry to hear that your stay with us has not been up to the standards of Sheraton Hotels and Resorts. One of our company values is that we succeed only when we meet and exceed the expectations of our customers and I sincerely apologize that we did not do so during your stay.

I have forwarded your comments to the General Manager to assist us in resolving this situation for you. Please allow us up to five days for a thorough investigation and for an appropriate response to be provided to you.

In the meantime, should you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact us either by replying to this email or by phone at 1-800-328-6242. If you are outside of the United States or Canada, please email us at customercare@starwoodhotels.com. Your reference number for this matter is ************.

Your present feelings are appreciated; however, I do hope that you will not judge us solely on the basis of this particular experience.

Thank you for choosing Sheraton. If you have any further customer service questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us at sheraton@sheraton.com.

Best Regards,

Bertha {names have been changed to protect the innocent}

Then I got this:

Dear Ms Dork
Thank you for taking the time of your busy schedule, to share your experience about your stay with us. I profoundly apologize on behalf of the hotel, for all the inconveniences you had to incur during you stay on the 9th of August 09. We sincerely appreciate your feedback, and wish to inform you that the hotel will be going through a complete renovation, starting at the end of this year. I have also addressed the service related issues with the concerned staff, ensuring they do not repeat the mistakes again in future.
The next time you are in this area, kindly give us another opportunity to exceed your expectations. Please feel free to contact me directly, so my team can personally attend to your needs.
Thank you!
Helga

Translation: Sorry we suck. We’ll try to make sure OTHER people have a better experience. Please come back and give us more of your money.

No idea what I'm talking about? This will clear things up.