I like the mall. Really. I don’t actually like shopping there (overpriced much?) but I like walking around (yay free air conditioning)! And I like to browse while feeling smug and superior because I’m too poor frugal to pay that much for a shirt, pair of pants, or [insert item here]. What I don’t like are the “kiosk zombies.” You know the ones I mean? They’re those sleazy guys selling merchandise from a kiosk (merchandise which is even more overpriced than normal mall goods), the guys you can’t walk past without them accosting you and saying things like:

“Would you like to have your hair straightened?”

“Have you ever tried this lotion?”

“Braaaaaaaaains…”

{OK, so I made that last one up.}

My normal methods of getting past them unmolested involve talking loudly to whoever I’m with and pretending I don’t hear them, pulling my hat over my face and pretending I don’t see them, or plastering a very angry “don’t-mess-with-this-chick-she’s-scary-and-definitely-not-buying-your-crap-today” look and hoping they’re not too stupid to ignore it.

I’m pretty proud of my kiosk zombie escape skills. But still, I don’t always dodge them. Next step? Bring a chainsaw.

What’s your mall pet peeve?