I don’t consider myself a prude. But this video {via Jezebel} made me want to cry:
{sorry if it’s cut off on your screen}
I want to just be awed by these girls, by their skill, by their energy, by the incredible time commitment such a routine must have required. But I just can’t see past their outfits.
I get that dance outfits are not the kinds of clothes worn on a day to day basis. Tight leotards, cut off tanks, and itt-bitty skirts and shorts are common. But these outfits look like something from a Victoria’s Secret catalogue. And these girls look too young to understand the significance of that. If these girls were sixteen even I don’t think I’d care. In my opinion sixteen is old enough to make a choice to wear sexy clothes for a special occasion {hello prom dresses!}, because most sixteen year olds {provided they’re not living in a cave} have had sex-ed, have begun exploring what it means to be “sexy,” and so on. Speaking as a former theatre geek and a mother I don’t think I have a problem with teenagers wearing sexy costumes for a performance if they really want to. And I think a lot of dance, theatre, color guard, and cheerleading moms would agree.
But these aren’t sixteen year olds {or, if they are, they’re the youngest-looking, tiniest teenagers ever}.
These are kids.
These are girls who are too young to dress up in red and black, lacy, satin-y lingerie costumes.
These are girls who do not have the maturity, experience of knowledge to understand what “sexy” really is.
And that is why I had to hold back the tears while watching the video.
There will be time enough to dress sexy later. They’ll spend the vast majority of their lives as adults. They will have many more years of worrying about their looks and their sex-appeal than they will years of worrying about completing their My Little Pony collection. They will, all on their own, start to seek our and explore clothing that appeals to the opposite sex. They certainly do not need a dance instructor thrusting such outfits upon them at their age. Besides which, the shockingly inappropriate outfits committed one of the cardinal sins of the performance arts: they distracted from the performance.
And that brings me to another criticism as far as the theatrics of the number…why these outfits? See, when I say I’m cool with teenagers wearing sexy costumes I don’t mean it should be solely for the hell of it. Costumes need to fit the performance. There should be a purpose to them. And the sexual nature of these costumes seem to serve absolutely no purpose beyond “being hot” {and again, little girls and “being hot” DO NOT MIX}. As one commenter on the Jezebel site pointed out, not even the original music video featured outfits like these. Beyonce and her dancers wore dance leotards. So *why* if simple leotards are good enough for Beyonce did somebody decide that little girls needed to be sexed-up? And *who* is that someone? And if they are a parent *how* could they think those costumes were a good idea? And *where* are they so I can slap some sense into them?
Seriously.
Ridiculous.
What do you think? Would you want your child dressed like this for a dance number {a dance number that, I might add, was uploaded to You Tube}? Speak your mind in the comments.

I own two strollers: an umbrella stroller that lies folded in the back of my station wagon "just in case" and a monstrosity that spends the vast majority of its time folded and stuffed into a closet as the Beco baby carrier that hangs above it is taken out and used again and again and again. Poor strollers. They must be lonely. Tough luck Mr. and Mrs. Stroller, but Ms. Beco is the one pulling her weight in this family instead of weighing us down.

We have been fans of babywearing since the first day we tried it. When my baby girl was smaller we'd tie her on in a stretchy wrap. The wrap was wonderful! Our daughter loved the perpetual hug that babywearing provides and we loved having our hands free to do dishes play video games. But before traveling several thousand miles to visit Grandma and Grandpa we invested in a Beco from Parenting By Nature. We felt that a carrier that could be easily gotten on and easily adjusted would be more convenient going through airport security and since our little girl was getting less and less little, it would be practical to have a structured carrier that would better support her weight.

'Practical' does not even begin to describe how we feel about babywearing with a structured carrier; 'cozy,' 'easy,' and 'fun' come to mind. When traveling? I'd go with 'absolutely necessary' and 'miraculously helpful.' There's no plane-side checking of a baby carrier. You either continue wearing your babe on the plane, or you can roll up the carrier and stash it in your diaper bag. Wearing our baby during our flight helped keep her happy and secure versus cranky and wiggly (which kept us parents from being cranky too)! But the real benefit came when an unforeseen landing problem landed us in the emergency room.

Upon descent my body freaked out a bit. I had some blood pressure and hyperventilation issues that left me weak, sick, and fuzzy-brained (well, more fuzzy-brained than usual) and before you could say "please return your tray table to its upright position" the flight attendants had called for help. I found myself being wheeled through the Toronto airport on a stretcher so I could take my first (and hopefully last) ambulance ride to the emergency room while my worried husband raced behind carrying every. last. piece. of our carry-on luggage. The one thing he wasn't struggling to hold onto? Our daughter.

We ended up spending hours at the hospital. We waited quite a while in the emergency room before being told I was fine and that it was nothing serious. Then we spent more time trying to figure out where we would stay for the night, how we would get there, when we could fly again, informing family members of what had happened. It was, to put it mildly, stressful. But the one thing we weren’t stressing about? Our daughter. The whole time she was happily worn by her daddy.

All three of us love babywearing. We use our Beco regularly, around the house when our daughter is fussy, at the grocery, at the park, at the mall, everywhere! But the convenience and emotional benefits of babywearing really shine when life gets complicated. Wearing your baby is like wearing a life jacket…a life jacket for your sanity. So our strollers stay folded and stashed away, rarely seeing light of day, not really earning their keep. Which leads me to ask...anybody want to buy a stroller? Barely used, great condition. Going cheap!





This post was written for the "Blog to Inspire" contest hosted by Parenting By Nature. I'd love to hear your comments! Tell me what you thought! Tell me if you baby wear. What's your favorite aspect of babywearing? What's your favorite carrier? Has babywearing ever saved your sanity in a tough situation? Do you have questions about babywearing? Lay it on me! I love hearing from my readers!

What is one of the single most divisive parenting issues you can think of?

The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends infants be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life and continue to be breastfed while being offered complementary foods to two years of age and beyond. But in 2003 in the US only 14.2% of 6 month olds were still being exclusively breastfed. Naturally lactivists cite these recommendations and statistics quite often in the quest to increase those numbers.

Imagine having this information, knowing all the amazing benefits of breastfeeding (for babies and mamas), and making plans to breastfeed only to have those plans completely fall apart. Now imagine trying to deal with the frustration and disappointment that would cause all the while wondering if other moms are criticising you behind your back for “giving up when the going got tough.”

I’m one of those lucky moms who have a relatively easy time breastfeeding. There were some horribly painful latch issues in the early days. But we worked through them and things are smooth sailing now. I’m also a big advocate of exclusive breastfeeding. But lately I’ve found myself frustrated by the way breastfeeding moms and formula feeding moms interact. It seems some nursing moms think the formula moms gave up too easily. They blame the moms for breastfeeding failure and harbor feelings of superiority. While some of the formula moms think the nursing moms are “breastfeeding Nazis” {an extremely offensive term}, or that they’re simply making too big a deal about the whole issue.

This has got to stop.

It’s my belief that most moms who don’t succeed in nursing their babes are not to blame. Are there moms who never even try, or who give up for really selfish reasons? Well, sure. There probably are. But there are also moms who don’t use car seats or who leave their babies in hot cars. That doesn’t mean they’re the norm. So if the moms aren’t to blame, who is?

Society.

What do I mean? Or, rather, who do I mean when I say society? I mean doctors, nurses, businesses, even lactation consultants! I mean everybody {yes you, and yes me}! See, here’s the thing. Breastfeeding is natural. But that doesn’t mean it comes naturally. It has to be learned. Moms (and sometimes babies) need help figuring out the mechanics of it as well as needing the right information and support.

I’ve discussed the factors leading to breastfeeding failure with a lot of moms. And I’m horrified by the accounts of doctors, nurses, and lactation consultants who dish out information that it just plain wrong, information that contributes to problems instead of solving them. How many of us mothers have been told we need to feed our babes for a certain amount of time on one breast then switch to the other? The nurses at the hospital tried to tell me to do that. Trying to follow their instructions nearly drove our family crazy. But I was lucky enough to read the right materials and learn otherwise. Babes should be given an opportunity to empty one side and get all the rich, fat hind milk. Then, if they’re still hungry, they should be given the other side. Babes who are limited in time on each side may not gain weight at the expected rate, leading moms and doctors to the false conclusion that mom’s milk isn’t rich enough which leads to the go-to advice to supplement with formula. Some hospitals and doctor’s offices even dispense formula samples to new moms when they’d be better served by a free copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

But misinformation isn’t the only hurdle moms face, lack of support can be just as detrimental. There are two forms of support I think every mom needs, practical and emotional. Practical support comes from dads, family and friends. It can be anything from fetching a glass of water while mom is nursing to loaning out your best breastfeeding book to a new mom or sharing your favorite web resources. Emotional support comes largely from friends and family but really needs to come from everybody. Nursing moms, especially those who are struggling, need encouragement (even a thumbs up from a stranger can lift a mom’s spirits) and acceptance. In other words we need to stop bickering about whether moms should cover or not cover when in public and focus on supporting them now matter how they choose to breastfeed.

So why are we divided? I think part of it is that sometimes we lactivists (myself included) forget that breastfeeding moms face a lot of hurdles aside from the physical setbacks (such as inverted nipples, thrush, etc.). I’m here to ask that we keep that in mind and refrain from harsh judgements. But I might also ask moms who did not have success and switched to formula to keep in mind that when lactivists proclaim the benefits of nursing we aren’t trying to make you feel bad. We’re just trying to convince future moms to give breastfeeding a go, a goal I think we can all get behind. But as long as both sides view breastfeeding as an issue that divides us instead of an issue we can face together we will be too busy fighting in the mommy wars to ever make a positive change. Love certainly isn’t all we need to increase the number of breastfeeding successes but it’s certainly something we can’t do without.

As always, feel free to share how you feel in the comments!

This is not what I had in mind when I said I wanted to be a morning person! But, here I am, wide awake. Not sure what woke me this morning...possibly the very loudly purring fur ball curled up on top of me. Lily (the usually anti-social cat) sleeping happily on top of you makes for a very sweet moment once you get past the uncomfortable parts. But it isn't exactly sleep inducing (particularly when she's sleeping right on your big pregnant belly). *sigh* Oh well.

So, a project I've been working on for some time now is my "Mama Book." It's basically a collection of articles and such on parenting topics such as breastfeeding, attachment parenting, circumcision, babywearing, and much, much more. In addition to being an excellent resource for me (for those moments when I say to myself "dang it! I KNOW I read about this somewhere...") it will also come in handy should I be one of those unfortunate mothers that gets criticized, ridiculed or otherwise treated shamefully for my decisions about how I raise my baby. Nothing like having page upon page of research to back you up. Of course, I don't know who I expect to give me a hard time. Certainly not my mother or mother-in-law. They're way too cool for that. But I've heard too many horror stories from other women to assume I'll get by without incident.

But, like I said, it's a great resource for me. By the time I'm done it'll basically be the best child-care manual ever. And I've started including some "motivational" materials as well, such as talks given by Church leaders. This one in particular meant a lot to me. And I've got some funny little cartoons and stuff to throw in there as well.

Adam and I have been meaning to get some sort of oil lamp for a while now (mostly in case of power outages which seem to be relatively common here but also just because they make a beautiful, warm light source). We've settled on getting a hurricane lantern (like this). They're just a lot more cat-proof than the all glass ones (like this). It's too bad the cats can't be trusted because I love the old lamp style. At any rate, we hadn't been able to find one in town. And in addition to wanting to avoid shipping costs Adam was anxious to get our lamp ASAP. So he pulled out the phone book today and called around to see who might carry them. Canadian Tire had hurricane lanterns for about $13 (score!). What they failed to tell Adam is that they were going to be closing in about 5 minutes because of Labor Day (which is weird since typically retail goes crazy on Labor Day). So we got over there only to discover a deserted parking lot and locked doors. Adam was quite forlorn and understandably annoyed at the guy on the phone who didn't think that the early closing hour was pertinent information. At least we had other errands to run at nearby locations so it wasn't a total waste of gas.

I've been told that papaya enzyme is a great way to kill pregnancy heartburn. You can get little capsules or (so I'm told) dried papaya works great. Since I've been battling heartburn a little bit lately (and the Tums just aren't cutting it) I've been looking forward to getting some dried papaya (and hey, the yum factor is a definite plus). So while we were out running errands that was on the list of items we needed. Adam spotted a bag at Wal-Mart but it wasn't a particularly well priced bag. And the papaya slices had added sugar. Believe me...I get plenty of sugar in my diet already. So I passed. After all, Superstore (where we were headed next for our groceries) has a pretty awesome selection of dried fruits...


...except papaya.

I think I might be the world's first invisible pregnant lady. I keep hearing stories about how when you're pregnant strangers treat you differently. Some treat you wonderfully: holding doors open for you, letting you cut in front of them in lines (especially for the bathroom), that sort of thing. Others treat you not so wonderfully (and if you find yourself in the following description you should know that the utter disdain and loathing the pregnant population has for you is quite strong): making comments about your weight, passing along old wives' tales and labor horror stories, touching your belly without first asking for permission, inquiring as to the state of your cervix, breasts, or some such body part, etc. But so far I've got nothing. No nice stories about helpful individuals and no horror stories about people who seem to think a pregnant woman's body is open to discussion or touching. Now, I'm not too disappointed about the latter (although I'm sure such incidents would make for PRIME blog material). But I do find it odd that no-one seems to notice the big round thing attached to my front. It makes me wonder if I could get away with smuggling basketballs under my shirt. It also makes me wonder if maybe I just don't get out enough to be running into these people.

You know what's sad? My cat (Girla) is so fat that I can hear her clump clump clumping long before she actually walks into view. She's not exactly lazy. She gets plenty of exercise chasing specks of light and shadows. But somehow she's just big. She's always been big. I guess she'll always be big. But even fat cats are supposed to be graceful right? Even fat cats are supposed to walk silently (in order to sneak up on their prey) right? Girla would starve to death if her food posed any more of a challenge than walking to the bowl and munching.

I've discovered some added bonuses to living in Canada (besides the whole universal health care thing):

* I still get enough news about the election to know what's going on, but not enough to be driven entirely insane.
* Drivers here actually seem to care about pedestrians. Provo drivers could learn a thing or two from their neighbors to the North.
* People don't think I'm a total hippie because I care about the environment and like to eat organic food.
* We can use the word "eh" without anyone batting an eye.
* I can get poutine.
* People have some seriously awesome (but strange) garage sale hours (this may be a local thing rather than a Canadian thing). Honestly, it never ceases to amaze me how many people keep their garage sale running until 5pm!

And, in closing, I have provided a link to Medicine Hat's Wikipedia page. You know, just in case you were interested or something. (Disclaimer: the teepee is, in my opinion, not just highly overrated, but not really a teepee - if it doesn't keep the rain off or the wind out it shouldn't count).