It's a warm day. You'd think it'd be cooler since it's cloudy. But no such luck. What baffles me is that even on warms days...the cats seem fine. They have fur coats on 24/7! Why do they seem to handle the heat so much better than we do? I badly want a frozen banana right now...but am, sadly, banana-less.

Tonight I have to be at Church at 7:00 to practice a women's quartet that we'll be doing in Church later this month. The last time I sang in Church was at Christmas time (I had a solo in one of the choir songs). And now that I think about it...I haven't heard a word about a choir in our new ward. Could it be that there isn't one? How weird would that be? I can't imagine not having a ward choir. Hopefully no-one will take my wondering as some sign that I should be asked to run one...NOT QUALIFIED! And while I'm curious as to when and what our next callings will be I'm hoping mine has nothing to do with leading, coordinating, or directing music of any sort. I like to sing...but I barely (BARELY) read music (AT ALL).

Do doctors have to take courses on bedside manner when they go through medical school? Because I think (almost) all the doctors at the maternity clinic must have skipped or failed that one...the nurses too. While I understand that they're busy at the clinic...I believe there is always time for a little basic kindness.
The first doctor I saw there was just plain rude (among other flaws). The first thing he said upon walking into the exam room (keeping in mind we have never, ever met) was "So, feeling pregnant and b@#*%$?" I don't remember what I said (probably nothing). But what I should have said is "Why no, I wasn't...until you came in and said that to me. Thanks for asking." Call me a prude but I don't appreciate that kind of language. And I really don't think that's an appropriate greeting the first time you meet someone. Plus...I happen to enjoy being pregnant. I'll admit I have mood swings some times but I wouldn't trade this for anything. So when the male doctor (in other words...doctor who has never and will never experience pregnancy) starts acting like it's such a terrible condition I really don't find it amusing. Honestly, women are pretty much the only people who can get away with making pregnant jokes in the first place.
The next doctor I saw was a woman. She's the only one I've met so far that I liked. Even though there was a possibility we wouldn't hear a heartbeat she tried any way (and succeeded!). The first guy didn't even bother to try even though we specifically said we wanted to.
The last guy I saw ordered me around (do this...do that) but didn't feel a need to tell me why or what he was doing. That bugs me to no end. I like to be in charge of my care and my baby's care thank you very much. Kind of hard to be in charge when you won't even tell me you're doing something before you do it. For example, he started listening for a heartbeat with the Doppler without even warning me or asking for my consent. One second I'm waiting for him to tell me what he's doing the next there's cold goo all over my stomach. While I'm OK with the occasional use of Dopplers and ultrasounds I am also aware that they have not been proven completely safe (and some believe that babies really dislike them). And seeing as we had an ultrasound scheduled for the very next day (during which they would be checking the heartbeat) if this doctor had actually asked me if he could do that I would have said "no."
I actually had a question this time (usually I don't have any because I do so much reading and research on my own). I wanted to know what I could safely use to deal with my acne (which has only gotten worse since being pregnant). His answer? "Soap and water." Duh. I'm aware that I can safely use soap and water. What really irks me is that he acted as if that's the only answer when I know for a fact there is more to it than that. For example...salicylic acid should not be used by pregnant women. He didn't even mention that. He gave me the impression that he either A: knew less about the subject than me, B: was too lazy to take the time to truly answer my question, or C: both. Plus he felt the need to criticize our personal choice to learn our baby's gender ahead of time. Me knowing if my baby is a boy or girl has no medical significance whatsoever so mind your own business.
I've heard good things about a Dr. Prince but the last two times I've tried to see him something has gone wrong (the first time the clinic lost my appointment and I had to wait for the next available doc, the second time I came in on the wrong day and he wasn't there). This next appointment I couldn't see him either because he wasn't available on or near the day they wanted to schedule me. So I asked for whatever woman doctor was going to be available that week. Since the only doctor I've even remotely liked so far has been a woman I figured my luck would be better if I continue that trend.
I'm frustrated with the clinic as a whole, quite frankly. I feel like the appointments are a waste of my time, their time, and the Alberta tax payer's money. I come in, you take my urine and record my weight, ask if I have any questions and move me on out again. They never even tell me anything...not the results from my original blood work, not what they're looking for in my urine (or what they find), nothing. When they weigh me they don't even tell me if I'm gaining too little, too much, or just enough. If you're going to keep all the pertinent information to yourselves what good does it do me to even come in? Honestly...what I really, truly want is to call up a midwife (but Alberta health care won't cover midwives -don't even get me started on the politics of that dumb policy). I have an interview with the local doula on the 19th. I'd LOVE to have a doula at my birth (especially so Adam doesn't have to spend the whole time trying to pry information from the nurses and doctor and enforce our wishes and rights). But I don't think there is any way to afford one this time around. I suppose I am going to have to right a very specific birth plan and have the doc sign it ahead of time. That way if (or should I say when?) hospital staff try to con me into all the stuff I do not want (like an episiotomy) I'll have a little extra back up.

OK. I'll come down off my soap box (for now).

Last night Adam and I went for a walk during the sunset at the park a street over from us. It's basically a big nature reserve. We saw a young buck and some bats. It was very cool. And the Deet-free, all natural bug spray we got seems to be working quite well.

The weekend is almost upon us (about time)! Adam and I don't have any plans but that's good. We'll probably work on getting things organized around the house. Is it completely pathetic that we're still not unpacked? It's hard to decide where to put things (we're not used to this much space). We're also in need of a book shelf (so if anybody knows of one in need of a home, old and ugly is fine, let us know). The farmer's market isn't open this week so we'll likely sleep in on Saturday.

You know what makes me sad? Women who don't realize how beautiful, wonderful, valuable, and awesome they are. My friend seems to be having a rough time lately. She's been dealing with a lot of stress, mostly caused by feeling guilt when there's nothing to feel quilty about and feeling fat when she's thin and beautiful. I don't know where all those feelings come from (the media? perfectionism?). But I wish she could see herself the way I see her. I miss her terribly.

I am craving chocolate chip cookies...right now. So I think I'm going to have to go make some. Yum! Maybe I'll bring some to share at practice tonight.